If you’re familiar with internet buzz words, you definitely would have come across this one buzz word or rather, buzz phrase called “Pick-Me”.Pick-Me quite literally means what it says in the name. A person that wants to be picked is a Pick-Me. Simple. The word Pick-Me is used a lot on social media platforms. You would find that it’s a popular phrase on Twitter especially in a lot of feminist and manosphere spaces. It’s also frequently used on TikTok as well. And you would find the word thrown around a lot in gender war discussions on the internet.A pickme could be a man or a woman really. The gender doesn’t matter.

A pickme is simply someone that seeks validation, approval, praise and affirmation from the opposite gender. The word pickme is often seen negatively. Because pickmes are generally viewed as needy people with “low self esteem” (?) who would go to any length for approval from the gender/group they’re attracted to or trying to attract.Personal Opinion: My personal (and controversial?) opinion of pickmes is, “You do what you have to do to please the one you want to pick you. It’s indeed adorable. But I prefer male pickmes to female pickmes. Perhaps because I don’t want other men to think all women are like the female pickmes. And I also want male pickmes for myself that would go to great lengths to impress me and get me to PICK them.” *shrugs*

According to Merriam Webster dictionary, they defined a pickme as follows:Pick-me (or pick me) is a slang term for a person, usually a young woman, seen as behaving in a contemptible way for attention and approval, usually from male peers.Many “independent” people of the pickme’s gender might not view pickme’s behavior as beneficial to them, infact they mostly view pickmes behavior as harmful to their group’s independence in general. Generally, despite being criticized as or accused of being a pickme, this doesn’t prevent the pickme in question from stopping the supposed pickme behavior. And they might even get into defensive mode or denial mode since the word is generally viewed with negative connotation in present society. And most people don’t want to be viewed negatively in society.

Examples of pickme behaviours would include going to great lengths to look extremely good or attractive to the gender/group they’re trying to attract, not looking good for themselves. Another example would be offering acts of service to the person/group they’re trying to attract (without the person/group even needing it) but same acts of service would never be offered to any other random person or outside group they’re not attracted to.The examples I gave above might be quite controversial but I genuinely think, going to great lengths to be something you’re NATURALLY NOT to appeal to a group or person you’re attracted to is a big pickme move. Especially if you’re not doing it for your own self.Makeup is argued sometimes to be for the wearer.

And people are generally not born with make-up on their faces so therefore it’s not natural. But at the same time, makeup generally attracts people (men mostly) because people who wear makeup look aesthetically attractive and pleasing. If a pickme knows that wearing makeup would grant them approval from a group or person, then they would do it.I would argue that pickmes are the ones with the ‘good boy’ or ‘good girl’ kinks. I’m a very kink-positive person so I would never shame anyone with this kink.

But as a woman myself, I do not have this kink. I also do not go to great lengths to be “picked” by a group or a person. So therefore I believe all women should not be generalized as pickmes or submissive. Women are not a monolith.My method of dating as an independent woman and liberal feminist is this, if I’m attracted to you, I’ll let you know. If you turn me down, I go through the pain of rejection (which is normal) and then move on ASAP. I won’t chase someone that has already rejected me and I also wouldn’t wait passively for them to change their mind. I also wouldn’t go to great lengths for them to see how submissive I am, adaptable, beautiful or feminine I am, so maybe they’ll change their minds and pick me over others of my own group. I just move on. Not any of that.

I argue that pickmes method of attracting people is to try to be EVERYTHING they think their potential partner wants. If their object of interest likes eating snails, they would learn how to prepare snail meat just for their partner. Even though they themselves do not eat snail meat. This is arguably very cute. And adorable if I’m being honest. Who doesn’t love sacrificial people who would go to great lengths for companionship?

Pickmes basically do not mind inconveniences for love or sexual attraction. Infact they embrace it. Like Merriam Webster dictionary said in the quote earlier in this article, people generally assume pickmes are women. I’d say a lot of women fall into the definition of pickmes. And I think this is because many women are very submissive even more than they’d like to admit.Being a submissive woman is not really a positive compliment in present society so a lot of women deny being one. Even though in their personal lives, they absolutely are one. I understand this. They’re just being human. Like I said earlier, most people don’t want to be viewed negatively in society. Many prefer to be politically correct especially in public. In private though, they might be living stark contrast lives.I wouldn’t classify myself as a pickme. But I would say I have a huge spot for pickme boys. Because just like men love pickme women, I also want a guy that would go to great lengths to please me and receive praise and validation from me, like I’m their master. *wink*